Can I Pick 'Em or Can't I?

[ed_rex]

I've been exchanging emails with a woman for a few weeks. A couple of days ago I actually managed to wake up early enough to call her before going in to work.

I enjoyed talking with her, we shared some laughs, some insights and generally went through the process of getting to know each other again - the way you have to, when you've started through email.

I'm intrigued and want to meet her in person.

But. But but but ...

She mentioned, apologetically, that she was eating Skittles or some similar candy. "That's okay," I said. "I didn't hear a thing."

"It's the first thing I've eaten for two days," she said.

I suggested that didn't sound all that healthy.

"I know," she said. "I'm getting really bad. I'm 5'7" and I'm down to 87 pounds."

* * *

5'7. 87 pounds.

Now, I like a slender woman as much as the next guy (okay: more than the next guy), but that sounds anorexic to me.

My brain says: "This girl is trouble. You don't know her very well. You have no obligations to her. Flee! Flee! Flee!"

But ... Well, but nothing. Mr. Brain is correct. Getting involved with her is just asking for trouble, isn't it? Isn't it?

Comments

[stephaniekaye.livejournal.com]

yes trouble
87 pounds..???????

disgusting!

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

Disgusting yes - and disturbing.

Am I an idiot to even think of getting to know her any better?

(Oh hell, I know I am. One of my exes was (she's dead now - took a dive off the Bloor Street Viaduct) an alcoholic. Trying to help her was one of the worst mistakes of my life.)

So what do I do? Ignore her? Send her an email saying, "Call me when you're no longer anorexic?"

Fuck. I really enjoyed talking to her. Leaving the obvious aside, she seemed like a really interesting girl.

[stephaniekaye.livejournal.com]

just let her know im a very diplomatic way that youre not interested. and thanks for her time .. you enjoyed the conversations....

i mean, shes not only annorexic, shes DANGEROUSLY underweight.

not a project i suggest you undertake. no matter HOW nice she might seem.

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

God damn it. You're right.

It's funny how sometimes you need an outsider to remind you of what you already know.

Thanks (he said, trudging off to the dating sites again).

[stephaniekaye.livejournal.com]

and if you decide to date her anyway, we'll see how long it ta,kes before you break one of her bones in bed...
smirk

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

The only accidental bone-breaking I want to do is on a hockey rink (I got taken out - pretty good - yesterday (though the guy tripped; we're a nice bunch). I thought for a while I was done for the game but fortunately was able to work through it.

Seriously though, I really appreciate your feedback on this. There is still a small part of me that thinks I am being selfish (hell: I am being selfish, but that isn't necessarily a wrong thing), but I really don't need to voluntarily introduce that kind of trouble into my life.

[stephaniekaye.livejournal.com]

dont call it selfishness, call it self-preservation.

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

Yes.

Jeez, this is almost like chat. If you don't stop, I'm going to suggest you let me buy you a beer.

[stephaniekaye.livejournal.com]

i dont drink beer! :P

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

Well, what do you drink?

Absinthe is acceptalbe;
Bourbon, beautific;
Chardonnay is charming;
Drsynki delicious,
Eglantine is euphoric

...

oh hell. I'm only up to "E" and I've already made up the names for two different boozes. Trying to get to "Z" will only humiliate me (I was going to say, "will only humiliate us both", but I stopped and thought and pictured you giggling at my expense and realized it's all about me, after all.

How do you feel about Tibetan food?

[stephaniekaye.livejournal.com]

uh?never had it.

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

I've only had it a few times, after a Tibetan restaurant opened around the corner from me (I also learned for the first time that there is a substantial Tibetan community in Toronto; though I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, I was), but I'd describe it as almost a combination of Thai, Chinese and Indian - heavy on the meet, light on sauces, with a steamed bread on the side, rather than rice. Spicy, but not curry, lots of (I think) corriander.

[touch-my-skin.livejournal.com]

Um... 87 pounds?
*shudders*
You know what I'm going to say to this one :)

[dark-ink.livejournal.com]

While the above comments make much sense, it seems to me that cutting off communication is unecessarily cold. If it were me I might try to help them out, though obviously your needs come first. Always remember that.

Good luck with that.

(Also, as a side note, I saw that you added me to your friends list, and I was just wondering if I should know you from somewhere. Sorry!)

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

Yes, there's too much "disappearing" on the internet already (I hate when people do it to me).

I don't know how much help I'll be able and/or willing to offer, but I at least owe her honesty as to why I'm back up.

(As for your parenthetical question, I don't think we know each other. I stumbled onto your journal during my one of my semi-random early-morning wanderings through lj and was intrigued.)

[msanborn.livejournal.com]

Definitely anorexic. I belong to a couple of the pro-ana/mia communites on lj and she certainly fits in. I myself am NOT either anorexic or bulimic but in my struggles with my own weight issues, I read their plight as well.

I would still be her friend, but wouldn't put myself in relationship mode. Just make it clear where you stand with her.

My 2cents. ching ching.

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

I've made the addition to my penny-jar, thanks.

Sigh. My Inner Selfish Bastard wants to forget her phone number; but running away just isn't ethical.

Time to gird the proverbial loins ...

Well..

[msanborn.livejournal.com]

how much time have you invested? there's no law that SAYS you can't just run away from the situation. I mean if it's something that's always going to make you uncomfortable that's not healthy for YOU.