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(Ottawa, Canada, December 25, 2011.
Photo courtesy of the Phantom Photographer.)
 

An afternoon at the duck pond

The propaganda has long since worked its magic. I do like to see some snow on the ground come Christmas and Ottawa, at least, got a story-book dusting. What were but a few flakes as I cycled home from the airport late Christmas Eve had become (as if by magic) a full blanket of snow come Christmas morning.

For Raven and I, the high point was a walk, taken later that afternoon. As you can see from the photo above, we changed upon a quintessentially Canadian scene: the frozen pond, cleared of snow and on which skaters of all ages and abilities were enjoying themselves. Which hockey players most prominent, of course.

The War on Christmas

As most of you know, there is in the air at this time of year, a recurring noise about a "war on Christmas". Out of the blue, otherwise intelligent and reasonable people are trade angry anecdotes about how they are tired of "giving in" to "political correctness" by being forced to say "happy holidays" or "seasons' greetings" instead of "merry Christmas".

Frankly, I've always found it a little baffling. In my younger and more cynical years, I hate Christmas, both the commercialism of it, and its religious origins. More mellow now, I rather enjoy it, though I stay away from most aspects of it.

But the occasional "holiday tree" aside, when the bitching starts, I can only point out to the shuttered businesses, to the full day of Christmas (not holiday!) music that takes over CBC Radio on the day of, and many other signs that Christmas as Christmas is in no danger in this country.

And as specific evidence, I offer the following.

The day after Christmas saw me drive a sick flight attendant to Montreal (you really don't want to fly when you're down with an ear infection!). Anyway, it having snowed considerably the night before, I'd opted to take public transit to work, rather than my bicycle.

The bus finally pulled up to the stop and we frigid passengers began to mount the stairs, we were met with a sight no doubt designed by a malicious god to throw fear into the sights of pro-Christmas warriors everywhere.

To judge by the beard, the turban and the kirpan, our driver was a Sikh, a slight brown man of probably middle early years.

He was smiling as we began to ascend into his bus. And what do you suppose he said to me as I dropped my tickets in the box?

Yeah, that's right. In yet another blow for political correctness for —

Oh, sorry. Actually, what he said, to each and every one of us as we boarded on the chill December day, was (you guessed it), "Merry Christmas".

So what the hell. If it's good enough for a Sikh bus driver, it's good enough for me.

I hope you all had a merry Christmas, whether you celebrate the actual holiday or not. And I hope we all have a better time in the new year than we did in the old.

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No frabjous days, no frabjous nights:

Alice In Wonderland is no wonder at all



Detail of image by The Phantom Photographer, © 2010.
Click to view the original.

Tim Burton's movies just keep getting dumber.

Having now watched this bland and witless travesty of a take on Lewis Carroll's immortal diptych, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking-Glass, I can only imagine that Burton's next project will be a "re-visioning" of Winnie the Pooh, one in which the bear of very little brain — no doubt played by a pumped-up Johnny Depp — will be on a mission of vengeance: not to trap the heffalump, but to slay it.

Worst of all, Winnie-ther-Pooh, Heffalump-Slayer, will succeed in gory 3-D, only after we have been forced to sit through a back-story that includes Kanga's prescient investments in the Australian coal-mining industry and Piglet's unhappy marriage to Eyore's cheating cousin, Beyoncéyore.

Excuse me. I digress ...

Once upon a time, there was a young movie director called Tim Burton, who burst upon my consciousness with three arguably slight, but nevertheless well-written, witty and wonderfully visualized fantasies, Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas. (I suppose I should confess that I haven't seen any of these films in many years; it is quite possible my impressions are tinted infra-red. But I think I retain pretty clear memories of all three. Onwards.)

Burton showed a subtle comedic touch along with the ability to limn character with a few strokes of the cinematic brush, along with a love for the macabre and a strange and genuinely original visual imagination.

Yet signs of his onrushing senescence manifested almost simultaneous with those of his blossoming talent.

Enter the Batman ...

Though a box-office and a popular hit, Batman epitomized Hollywood block-busters at their worst.

The movie probably sounded like a fabulous concept when it was being pitched and the end-product looked great — Burton's Gotham is a decaying hulk of a once-great city; organic and sterile, futuristic and yet built upon the cast-iron fantasies of the early twentieth century; the aesthetic anticipated (or was at least an early example of) steam-punk, with atmosphere and imagery that suggested another Terry Gilliam in the making.

But unlike even Gilliam's worst failures, Burton's Batman had no brain. And, if anything, his Alice is even worse.

Read more at Edifice Rex Online, but beware of spoilers.

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