"Laura, it's almost good to hear your voice, and I hope it's true, but I can never forgive you for what you did to me. I wish you well, but I don't want to talk to you. After all that happened, I can never trust you. So don't call me again, and if you see me on the street, just keep walking. And fuck off."
I think that was exactly the right thing to say. You got a little satisfaction out of it and you told her the truth while not allowing her any moral wiggle-room that she doesn't deserve.
I've told an ex to fuck-off too. It was one of the best things I've ever done. I finally felt FREE of this leech-person who wouldn't understand anything but an unequivocal "fuck off!"
I do think people change, but I think change of that magnitiude is very rare. I also think when people say "I've changed" is quite suspicious. People who really have gone through a transformation tend not to broadcast it in any way, though I do see the asking for forgiveness part. But if she's really changed, then she should know that she shouldn't expect forgiveness, but that the act of asking for it was important and that she should accept whatever answer you give.
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dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-22 11:21 am (UTC)I think that was exactly the right thing to say. You got a little satisfaction out of it and you told her the truth while not allowing her any moral wiggle-room that she doesn't deserve.
I've told an ex to fuck-off too. It was one of the best things I've ever done. I finally felt FREE of this leech-person who wouldn't understand anything but an unequivocal "fuck off!"
I do think people change, but I think change of that magnitiude is very rare. I also think when people say "I've changed" is quite suspicious. People who really have gone through a transformation tend not to broadcast it in any way, though I do see the asking for forgiveness part. But if she's really changed, then she should know that she shouldn't expect forgiveness, but that the act of asking for it was important and that she should accept whatever answer you give.