Well there's very little mystery to me as to whom the Lawrence character is based on: it's SS.
I enjoyed reading it. It reminded me of my disaster of a novel: dialogue, with almost every action having to do with ingesting one drug or the other. And that is probably it's biggest flaw. That, or the dialogue doesn't go far enough. I mean, I've had this conversation, so it's not exactly like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to find out where it's going next. More, I'm waiting to see which of SS's mannerisms you'll describe next. Which means that I'm already outside of the story because I know who the lead character (you) is conversing with (SS).
So, basically, I think you should either: make the conversation more interesting; or make myself more inexperienced in regards conversations.
Then it would be a better story.
Although I still did enjoy it. After I was done I felt full of nicotine, alcohol, and grackle-icious voyeurism.
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dancing_serpent
Your story
Date: 2006-09-09 01:00 am (UTC)Well there's very little mystery to me as to whom the Lawrence character is based on: it's SS.
I enjoyed reading it. It reminded me of my disaster of a novel: dialogue, with almost every action having to do with ingesting one drug or the other. And that is probably it's biggest flaw. That, or the dialogue doesn't go far enough. I mean, I've had this conversation, so it's not exactly like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to find out where it's going next. More, I'm waiting to see which of SS's mannerisms you'll describe next. Which means that I'm already outside of the story because I know who the lead character (you) is conversing with (SS).
So, basically, I think you should either: make the conversation more interesting; or make myself more inexperienced in regards conversations.
Then it would be a better story.
Although I still did enjoy it. After I was done I felt full of nicotine, alcohol, and grackle-icious voyeurism.