ed_rex | April? How the Hell Did That Happen?

I refuse to join the LJ habit of apologizing for the lack of posts in recent ~~days~~ weeks; I refuse even to make the point that this is my journal, to use (or not) as the whim strikes me. (I will offer up an apology to a Certain Hamiltonian - who is likely not even reading this anymore, but nevermind - to whom I have owed a rebuttal for a long time even by my standards. But I digress.)

It's been an interesting few weeks.

Laura and I went through a brief rough patch during which, I think, we both showed a remarkable rationality (no, Gentle Vultures, you will not get more details than that) and I think the omens bode well, despite some emotional aftershocks.

Well, but far from assured.

Laura has been mostly staying with me for the past week, and will be for at least another - and possibly for quite some time beyond that. Her step-mother (that charmer) went south to tend to her daughter's post-partum lying-in and chose, while away, to inform Laura that she has to find another place to live.

Her sister has offered her a place to stay, as have I, despite my understanding that - given our respective chronologies, not to mention economic powers - we would be taking a very big risk.

I've suggested she take my place as her own until she's finished school for the semester, at which point we would sit down and discuss, first, how things went at such close quarters and, second (if we agreed the the past went well), what we want to do next.

She's thinking about it - as well she should. As am I, though my offer through to the spring is not conditional. I love her and, if we both believe it would be healthy for us (but - from my point of view - especially for her), I want her to stay, despite the risks involved.

And meanwhile (it's enough to make me ponder the possibility of malevealent gods, I tells ya!), she's suffering from something like a yeast infection, which between us has created enough sexual tension to power a small city for a year. Thank god for (extended, o! so extended) foreplay. I think.

All right. There's laundry in the basement and a wonderful woman in the next room, struggling with a pastiche of a chapter of Don Quixote.

Aren't you glad I'm back?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And here I am making apologies for too many posts.

Just make sure, if you do decide to move in together, it's because you both want to live together, and not because it's convenient or cheaper or whatever. That sounded irritatingly preachy, but I do speak from experience here. (Of course, you guys are an infinitely better couple, from my impressions, than F. and I.)

But yes, glad to see you back! Drinks soon?

Just make sure, if you do decide to move in together, it's because you both want to live together, and not because it's convenient or cheaper or whatever.

That is in large part why my proposal was that she consider this her place only until she's done school in June; it would (conveniently and cheaply) provide her stability while studying (hah!), and we could then more rationally decide whether we wanted/thought it was a good idea, to make it a more long-term arrangement.

Drinks soon?

Yes (if my last comment in your journal hasn't scratched me off your list), absolutely. Maybe Saturday?

Re: yeast infections, I suggest that avoiding oral sex for a week or so might help, as studies show that women who get a lot of oral sex have correspondingly high incidences of yeast infection.
Now there's something useful they could have mentioned in highschool.

And also, have you both been tested recently? Because sometimes chlamydia manifests itself as the worst yeast infection evar, apparently. And in men and women, other symptoms are rare, but it can really affect a woman's fertility, long-term. It's easily cleared up with one dose of antibiotics.

I suggest that avoiding oral sex for a week or so might help, as studies show that women who get a lot of oral sex have correspondingly high incidences of yeast infection.

How does that work?

They aren't sure. The study we were looking at on our radio show two weeks ago found it to be true, but didn't have even a good guess for why. They were, i think, surprised by the results.

Odd.

Unless, maybe, it's the dissolved sugar on the tongue?

Well, any sort of bacteria can have an effect and fuck with the natural pH levels in the vagina. Some women are more sensitive to it than others, but getting your period usually helps stabilize the pH levels, and if it persists, homemade remedies can work wonders. Yogurt or a clove of garlic work wonders (I know, I know...), and if it's still there, she should go see a doctor. I've had an infection twice and it's mindnumbingly painful and irritating.

Don't worry, she has seen a doctor and we're both hoping to hell the treatment does what it's supposed to.

Speaking of garlic, I remember ,er, some years back, when I was living with some friends in an apartment in the heart of Chinatown, just north of Dundas on Spadina.

My friend Adam had heard about garlic and its antibiotic qualities and, in an effort to stave off a cold or flue, decided to take it in quite large quantities. By the clove, in fact.

By the whole clove.

Turns out swallowing a clove of garlic is a little more difficult than downing an aspirin or a multivitamin.

Yes, he chocked. Started bouncing around the room, making all the coughing motions a person can make, but not coughing.

Eventually, I started to wonder at this strange behaviour and asked, "Are you chocking?"

He nodded excitedly, yes! Yes!

And I, by god, performed the heimlich maneuver. Garlic clove flew across the room and Adam could once again breathe.

Year's later, reminiscing over beers, I mentioned the incident and he denied it ever happened.

There's gratitude for ya.

Yes, we've been tested - chlamydia is a long shot indeed.

Thank god. I had it once and count myself lucky for having had symptoms.

Good luck with the moving-in thing. I've been there -- I was a poor student when I moved in with my older, more financial stable then-boyfriend (now my husband). It's hard on the younger person. I felt really useless because I couldn't financially contribute and he had a house for chrissakes. I also felt like none of the space was "mine" because I get very weird about space. The thing that made it work was that my husband is kind and very patient and was clearly so happy to have me there that I got over it. One of the reasons I married him. :)

Just keep those things in mind. She might be feeling more than a bit weird. Good luck!

I'm keeping all those things in mind, and I think Laura is, too. If she does decide to take me up on it, I'm going to insist on a serious and sober talk about expectations, responsibilities, etc, etc.

Besides the age-gap, there's a serious economic gap between us and I want to be very careful I don't end up exploiting (or trying to) either of those facts.

Still sounds like an apology. ;)

I was beginning to wonder what happened to the your usually verbose postings.

Ah, relationship crossroads.

My wife and I found ourselves in a similar situation when we were dating several years ago. She had lost her job in the small town she was living in and came to Toronto to look for work. I offered to share my place with her while she tried to get back on her feet. Our thinking at the time was that she would stay with me for 3 to 6 months while she got working and saved some money and then get a place of her own. Yeah, right. That never happened. We ended up getting engaged instead.

Take from that little anecdote whatever you like.

Wow, good luck to you both.

Still sounds like an apology. ;)

Ahh shaddup.

As for your anecdote, I'll take the lesson that one shouldn't count on long-term plans; life has a way of taking you by surprise.

April? How the Hell Did That Happen?

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